Educating to help people stay safe & recover from sociopaths & psychopaths

Sociopaths Retaliate With a Vengeance When Exposed

Posted 2 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Psychopaths & Tagged as:

"What is the one thing a sociopath does not want other people to know? The truth. More specifically, sociopaths do not want the truth about them to be known as they are insecure, malicious, and devious people. Beyond being embarrassed by the truth of their behaviors and thoughts, they have a deathly fear of being exposed and rejected. That’s in large part because they use lies, manipulations, and distortions to control other people and get what they want. If others were to know about their true nature, they...would lose the support networks of malicious minions they control and incite to abuse other people. Therefore sociopaths have a strong motivation to attack, discredit, harass, and ruin anybody who presents arguments and facts that might tend to raise questions and doubts about their behaviors and their false statements."



Sociopaths Experts At Blaming Others, Greatly Fear Being Blamed

"They may realize that blaming is how they control others to harm the targets they viciously attack, often family members or former love interests."

"Sociopaths may be especially cognizant of the risk that people whom they have used to abuse others might even turn against them, especially those who might be greatly angered by how they were manipulated into participating in destructive and harmful activities against others. People like to blame others."

"Sociopathic abusers often engage in distortion campaigns to control and manipulate others to prejudice them into having false beliefs about the victim. By the time the victim of the campaign is aware of it, he or she may have been routinely trashed and lied about for several years to the point that anything he or she says or does will somehow be interpreted as evidence of them being the problem."

"Many of the sociopaths recruit others to help them, typically using lies, distortions, and other people’s own experiences to convince them that they should help ruin another person’s life. Bill Eddy calls them “negative advocates” in many of his writings. I’ve often called them the “minions” of the sociopath. Some of these minions later realize that they were used to harm innocent people and end up feeling very bad about their own actions."


"If you have been in a relationship with a psychopathic personality -
•    if you seek to expose them, bear in mind they are likely to respond with vitriolic rage, threats, vicious and hurtful communication, or attempts to discredit you and smear your reputation

•    don’t beat yourself up about not recognising the signs earlier; just act as soon as you do
•    seek therapy as soon as possible; the trauma of these encounters can be long-lasting and profound
•    if possible, warn others of your experience
•    bear in mind he will be doing his best to cast you as irrational or downright crazy"

"After the victim ends a relationship with a psychopath, this behavior is likely to escalate into downright stalking. This happens for the reasons I have explained in previous articles:

-- psychopaths, being control-driven, want to WIN. To them, winning means catching their targets into their spider’s nets and destroying them

-- psychopaths, being control-driven, want to exact vengeance and intimidate those who no longer worship them, want them, or obey them blindly."

Traumatic Bonding

Posted 2 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Blog

Why do people stay in a relationship with those who hurt them?  One thing is for sure – it is NOT because they are stupid. They have trauma bonding – and this is NOT their fault.

Trauma bonding describes the attachment dilemma that occurs from the type of trauma caused to our emotions (i.e. betrayal and neglect, over and over and over). It’s the type of bonding that can easily occur via passive-aggressive manipulation (i.e. sex, lies, silent treatments) and other forms of narcissistic control.The narcissist partner, as cunning as he or she is, understands the process for streamlining a victim’s codependency to point of least resistance. He has actually figured out – without a single day of formal training – that the best way to ensure narcissistic supply is to create trauma bonds with his targets via the method of “seduce and discard”.   From



“Some scientists were conducting an experiment,” he said, “trying to gauge the impact of abuse on children. Ducks, like people, develop bonds between mother and young. They call it imprinting. So the scientists set out to test how that imprint bond would be affected by abuse.

“The control group was a real mother duck and her ducklings. For the experimental group, the scientist used a mechanical duck they had created – feathers, sound, and all – which would, at timed intervals, peck the ducklings with its mechanical beak. A painful peck, one a real duck would not give.
They varied these groups. Each group was pecked with a different level of frequency. And then they watched the ducklings grow and imprint bond with their mother.

“Over time,” he went on, “the ducklings in the control group would waddle along behind their mother. But as they grew, there would be more distance between them. They’d wander and explore.
“The ducklings with the pecking mechanical mother, though, followed much more closely. Even the scientists were stunned to discover that the group that bonded and followed most closely was the one that had been pecked repeatedly with the greatest frequency. The more the ducklings were pecked and abused, the more closely they followed. The scientist repeated the experiment and got the same results.”



Check Out Self Help Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with Kenneth Anderson on BlogTalkRadio

Attachment Theory & Trauma Bonding part starts at 20:20 – but the whole podcast is great.

Must Read: “Confessions of a Sociopath”

Posted 3 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Blog & Tagged as: , , , ,

More than one friend sent me this article from the May 13, 2013 issue of Psychology Today. It may be shocking to many, but to those of us whose lives were once shattered by sociopaths, it’s all too familiar.

The article was written by “M.E. Thomas” who claims to be a BYU-educated (and successful) law professor and Sunday school teacher who is “quite charming and has a host of family and friends.” I wonder about that.  At least she admits how much she lies. In the beginning of the article, she claims she wasn’t the victim of child abuse, but later in the article describes being the middle child in a family with a violent father.  Read More

Hard to See Him for What He is – Even Psychologists Are Fooled

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Psychopaths & Tagged as: , , ,

“Victims are harmed psychologically, emotionally, physically, financially, and socially.  The devastation can be far reaching.”

“A psychologist, in writing a psychopath’s evaluation described, how difficult it is to comprehend and reconcile the reality of the psychopath with his positive persona.”


“It is rare that victims actually recognize what is happening to them until it is too late.  Because of this, many victims never fully understand the full complexity of the situation.  Frequently, they are so entangled in the web of confusion the psychopath has managed to spin, that seeing the psychopath for what he or she is, rather than how he or she portrays himself, may be quite difficult.”

“It is not unusual for the victims of psychopaths to question their sanity and self worth.  This is often exacerbated by the psychopathic individual looking the victim in the eye and denying that events they both experienced together happened.”

“It is likely that the psychopath has spent so much time manipulating the victim’s reality that the victim cannot always distinguish fact from fiction.”

“The psychologist reported that, following an evaluation of a parent with psychopathic features, she had had difficulty reconciling the positive persona superficially presented by the psychopath with the contradictory facts she had gathered during the forensic evaluation.”



Hard for People to Believe the Stories

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Psychopaths & Tagged as: , ,

"Again, victims usually do not understand what is occurring until it is too late.  The psychopath may have already launched smear campaigns, taken unfounded legal action, and manipulated those the victim cares about, simply for sport.  Once the victims begin sharing their stories with others, the people to whom they tell these stories, often cannot believe what they are hearing.  It is common for others to be in disbelief, either because they perceive the victim as an unlikely candidate for targeting or abuse, or because the stories can seem so inherently unlikely that it may be difficult, at first, to believe they are true."


Psychopaths use Religion as a Ruse

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Psychopaths & Tagged as: , ,

Screen shot 2013-01-17 at 2.59.36 AM

"Individuals often turn to their religious communities for support during stressful times, when they may be feeling spiritually and emotionally weakened.  Psychopaths often take advantage of this situation and use religion as a ruse to prey on people.  Singles groups, especially at more affluent churches, are often targeted."Source:

How to Manipulate People: Techniques Sociopaths Use

Posted 2 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Brain Workings & Tagged as:

Here is a list of links I found in Research Gate about how to manipulate others. This is the kind of information that sociopaths feed off and use. Use this information to protect yourself.

Above inks were contributed by Joachim Pimiskern. Below are some links on persuasion from Psyblog. Not all techniques of persuasion are simply the tools of predators or psychopaths. Read More

The Cyberpath Retaliates With Smear Campaigns

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Psychopaths & Tagged as: ,

When their targets no longer idolize them or fulfill their demands, psychopaths often retaliate. They can’t tolerate when anyone bursts the artificial bubble of their complete and utter narcissism.  Psychopaths are bullies. They often resort to intimidation tactics, such as stalking and cyberstalking, smear campaigns and various other machinations. Some former victims feel genuinely terrorized by them and live in a state of fear or even paranoia.

The internet offers fertile ground for psychopaths, who are constantly on the prowl for potential new victims while continuing to intimidate and harass their previous targets, sometimes years after the relationship is over. Psychopaths never experience true emotional bonding with anyone; however they sometimes experience intense attachments to certain targets.

Just as they take perverse pleasure in hurting those close to them, they also take perverse pleasure in harassing previous targets from afar.

This is easy to do with relative anonymity. New email addresses are easy to get; while anyone with minimal computer skills knows how to reroute IP addresses. While even rerouted IP addresses can be identified by the authorities, often it’s more trouble than it’s worth.


Dangerous Mind Games: How Psychopaths Manipulate and Deceive

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Psychopaths & Tagged as: ,

Deception constitutes a very entertaining game for psychopaths. They use one victim to lie to another. They use both victims to lie to a third. They spin their web of mind-control upon all those around them. They encourage antagonisms or place distance among the people they deceive, so that they won’t compare notes and discover the lies. Often they blend in aspects of the truth with the lies, to focus on that small grain of truth if they’re caught.

The bottom line remains that psychopaths are malicious sophists. It really doesn’t matter how often they lie or how often they tell the truth. Psychopaths use both truth and lies instrumentally, to persuade others to accept their false and self-serving version of reality and to get them under their control. For this reason, it’s pointless to try to sort out the truth from the lies. As M. L. Gallagher, a contributor to the website has eloquently remarked, psychopaths themselves are the lie.


Psychopaths Destroy Reputations & Psychologically Torture

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Blog & Tagged as: , ,

"All the harm we have mentioned thus far is from covert abuse. Psychopathic individuals also may openly psychologically abuse their victims by denigrating and terrorizing them."

"For now, we simply note that emotional abuse can be extremely harmful to victims. Sadly, some victims attempt suicide as a result of hopelessness, helplessness and the belief there is no way out. Some victims have reported to us that

psychopaths have actually encouraged them to take their own lives

or have indicated that they would put them through so much turmoil that their only recourse would be suicide."

"Individuals with psychopathic traits may attempt to ruin the lives of their victims through the use of social aggression.  For example, it is common for psychopathic individuals to lie about their victims or portray them unfavorably in gossip, so as to damage their reputations."


How Do Psychopaths Choose and Manipulate Their Victims

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Psychopaths & Tagged as: , ,

“Those with psychopathic features often seem to have an uncanny ability to home into basic human vulnerabilities.  This often puts them in unique positions, where they are able to gain the upper hand.  Uninhibited by conscience, they initially assess the utility of those around them freely and equally.”

They then tend to narrow their choices to those they find unusually trusting or vulnerable.

“Sometimes, simply having normal personality traits qualifies an individual as vulnerable.  Some psychopaths are predatory in nature and can quickly evaluate who might be willing and able to help them achieve what they are looking to accomplish.  They can identify a potential victim’s ‘Achilles Heel’ and capitalize on it.”

Individuals who are openly trusting or generally seek to find the good in others are more apt to find themselves targeted than those who tend to challenge others to “prove” themselves.  However, most people tend to attempt to see the good in others.”

“As a result, this natural inclination to respect and trust often leads people to rationalize or minimize the odd or unusual behavior that does occur in exchanges with psychopathic individuals.  This makes almost everyone fair game.”

“At this point, an individual who is being targeted is usually unaware of the psychopath’s true intentions.  In addition to any possible vulnerabilities potential victims may have that can  make them more receptive to their advances, psychopaths also look for those who will invest in the relationship to deepen the connections and perceived obligations to the psychopath.”

“It may seem that victims are weak, but this is not the case.  Normal human vulnerability should not be confused with weakness.”

“Anyone has the potential to be targeted.  Psychopathic individuals do not appear to care whom or what they use or ultimately destroy.”

“It is important to remember that some psychopaths appear to easily become whatever it is their potential victim wants them to be, morphing into ideal mates, business partners, or  friends.”

“Some of them seem to choose their victims based on a combination of opportunity and their perceived ability to manipulate the targeted individuals.”

“While it is likely that no one is immune from victimization,

some may be better candidates for victimization than others,

often simply by being decent, trusting people.”


Hiding Real Identity to Lure Prey

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Psychopaths & Tagged as: , , ,

Written by Linda

"Many psychopaths are predators who very skillfully fool others by hiding their true identity in order to lure prey. Victims are manipulated and often left doubting their own sanity and reality. Once the victim is emotionally attached, the psychopath may stop acting, and show his or her true nature. This often leaves victims feeling very lost or confused."


Affinity fraud: do psychopaths target specific groups of people?

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Blog & Tagged as: , , ,

Written by Linda on 19 December 2011

"Individuals with psychopathic traits are often attracted to affinity groups – religious, political or social groups of people who share common values, beliefs or interests.  The collective trust that members of these groups have in one another and their common belief system provides a perfect cover for the person with psychopathy.  The psychopath has an ability to accurately mimic the group’s beliefs or values while in the presence of its members.  As a result, trust is easily gained and the true motives of the psychopath are less likely to be discovered.

Their true motives may include, but are not limited to, financial support (including investment fraud), establishing personal credibility, access to vulnerable individuals who can meet their sexual needs, power and control in volunteer or paid leadership roles, or whatever may meet their needs at the present time.  Those who are most adept at perpetrating affinity fraud are psychopaths who gain entry into the group by developing an acquaintance with a member who then introduces the psychopath as “one of us.”  The result is a “fox in the henhouse.”


Being the Target of a Psychopath

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Psychopaths & Tagged as: ,

"Psychopaths view people as little more than objects to be used for their own gratification," explains Dr. Hare. "The weak and the vulnerable--whom they mock, rather than pity--are favorite targets. This helps to explain the reports of people being targeted by the Hidden Evil for no particular reason, other than being decent. A psychopathic program will target such people."


Psychopaths Make Good First Impression

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Psychopaths & Tagged as: ,

“More often than not,” says Dr. Cleckley, “the typical psychopath will seem particularly agreeable and make a distinctly positive impression when he is first encountered. Alert and friendly in his attitude, he is easy to talk with and seems to have a good many genuine interests. There is nothing at all odd or queer about him, and in every respect he tends to embody the concept of a well-adjusted, happy person.”

You Are Not to Blame

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Psychopaths & Tagged as:

"You are not to blame. Whatever the reasons for being involved with a psychopath, it is important that you not accept blame for his or her attitudes and behavior. Psychopaths play by the same rules - their rules - with everyone."

"Be aware of who the victim is. Psychopaths often give the impression that it is they who are suffering and that the victims are to blame for their misery."

"Recognize that you are not alone. Most psychopaths have lots of victims. It is certain that a psychopath who is causing you grief is also causing grief to others."

"Be careful about power struggles. Keep in mind that psychopaths have a strong need for psychological and physical control over others. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t stand up for your rights, but it will probably be difficult to do so without risking serious emotional or physical trauma."


Psychopaths Need Absolute Power and to Cause Pain

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Psychopaths & Tagged as: , ,

"Remember, a need for absolute power over others is a core trait of the psychopath. Goal-oriented deceitfulness, superficial charm, an outward friendly appearance, and having no remorse, are other traits which will allow them to achieve their goals...And because deceitfulness is a core psychopathic trait, this will probably be done by creating a humanitarian front organization."


"But, if you can, try to imagine someone who seeks power for no reason other than to have power, or someone who deceives just to experience the delight of having done so.

Or someone who tortures another person physically or emotionally for the enjoyment of watching them suffer.

Imagine someone doing these things, and not losing a moment of sleep at night (zero remorse). And add to all this, the ability to conceal themselves from an extremely naive public. Psychopaths are essentially aliens that look human. Probably one of the best skills to learn is how to detect and avoid a psychopath."




Most People Can’t Bring Themselves to Understand the Mind-set of a Psychopath

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Psychopaths & Tagged as: , , ,

“Some researchers agree that the traits exhibited by these people produce a division stronger than age, race, and religion, which places them in a new category of people. In other words, these people are almost not human as we know it. The word antisocial does not describe someone who prefers to sit at home rather than attend gatherings. More accurately it means antihuman. Most people can’t bring themselves to understand the mind-set of a psychopath.”

Dr. Hare explained, “Imagining the world as the psychopath experiences it is close to impossible.”

In his book, Political Ponerology: A Science on the Nature of Evil Adjusted for Political Purposes, Dr. Andrew M. Lobaczewski wrote, “The pathocratic world, the world of pathological egotism and terror, is so difficult to understand for people raised outside the scope of this phenomenon that they often manifest childlike naivete, even if they have studied psychopathology and are psychologists by profession.”

Professor Marrs commented, “Yet, in public, they impress us as men who are likeable, intelligent, refined, fair-minded, tolerant, thoughtful, kind, and gentile men who sincerely care about such matters as the environment, the plight of the hungry and starving overseas, the jobless, and the poverty-stricken. Moreover, they often are recognized as leaders in the legitimate quest for world peace and tranquility.”

He continued, “Many are active in church work and charitable organizations. Others give freely to good causes.” Recognizing this facade, he added, “No one would suspect for a moment what actually goes on in the deep, dark recesses of their diabolical minds.”

It’s very difficult to describe with words an event that must be experienced in order to understand. The event I’m referring to is the observation of the psychopath or psychopathic system in its true form, after the mask has been removed. It can be described as something deeply horrific. This is a gut-wrenching experience for a normal person, and can cause severe trauma, especially if they can’t escape it.

Wikipedia, the online encyclopedia, states that, “any emotions which the primary psychopath exhibits are the fruits of watching and mimicking other people’s emotions.” They are adept at, “using their charm and chameleon-like abilities to cut a wide swath through society and leaving a wake of ruined lives behind them,” Dr. Hare warns.


“The pathological factor also helps to clarify why people who are, arguably, more spiritually and morally evolved than the masses, are being identified and targeted.

According to Dr. Lobaczewski, these types of individuals are the first to be targeted in regimes controlled by psychopaths.

Dr. Meloy explained that the psychopath’s “perception of others’ pleasures arouses only envy and greed in themselves.” And that they receive, “gratification of sadistic impulses through intentional infliction of emotional or physical pain upon others.”



Protection from Psychopaths

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Psychopaths & Tagged as: , , ,

"Understand Their Goals – What They Want and Don't Let Them Win – Power, control, superiority; they seek to hurt, humiliate & subjugate.

Don't Give Them Satisfaction – showing hurt, pain, distress just feeds their sickness. They want to hurt you, the more hysterical you get, the more they enjoy it. Reacting reinforces their drive to do more. Be unemotional and factual."


Psychopaths Inflict Pain on Others for Enjoyment

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Psychopaths & Tagged as: ,

"The need for absolute power over others and the wish to inflict pain for the enjoyment of watching others suffer, are almost never apparent to the casual observer. The reason for this is that another core trait of the psychopath is disguise. So unfortunately, these individuals usually mask themselves as good-natured people. If they have tremendous wealth, you can bet that they'll create charitable organizations as part of their mask."


Robert Hare’s Checklist of Psychopathy Symptoms

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Psychopaths & Tagged as: ,

1. GLIB AND SUPERFICIAL CHARM — the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Psychopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A psychopath never gets tongue-tied. He can also be a great listener, to simulate empathy while zeroing in on his targets’ dreams and vulnerabilities, to be able to manipulate them better.

2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH — a grossly inflated view of one’s abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Psychopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.

3. NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM — an excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Psychopaths often have a low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.

4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING — can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative and dishonest.

5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS: the use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one’s victims.

6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT:  a lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted and unempathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one’s victims.

7. SHALLOW AFFECT:  emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness and superficial warmth.

8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY:  a lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.

9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE: an intentional, manipulative, selfis, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline and the inability to carry through one’s responsibilities.

10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS:  expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.

11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR: a variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of numerous, multiple relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity (rape) or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits and conquests.

12. EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS: a variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use and running away from home.

13. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS: an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.

14. IMPULSIVITY: the occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations and momentary urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic and reckless.

15. IRRESPONSIBILITY: repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.

16. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS: a failure to accept responsibility for one’s actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.

17. MANY SHORT-TERM RELATIONSHIPS: a lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including in marital and familial bonds.

18. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY: behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.

19. REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE: a revocation of probation or other conditional release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation or failing to appear.

20. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY: a diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes or wrongdoings.


These lists have been compiled by angelfire, on the link below:

Me & My Plural Husbands

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Polygamy & Tagged as:

Why Patriarchal Polygamy is NOT a Matter of Consenting Adults

Tomorrow, January 17, 2013 at 3:00 in the afternoon, you might be able to catch a glimpse of a few celebrities on the courthouse steps in Salt Lake City, Utah. You might see me there too. I’ll be the woman in red flanked by multiple husbands in matching frumpy white shirts, thanking God that I live in America, the land of the free. Read More

How Could I Have Believed Him?

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Human Trafficking & Tagged as:

Even after all these years since “The Great Deception,” I am still learning how my heart, soul, brain, finances and life were hijacked by a monster, and yet I could not see him for what he was.  In the beginning, my very first therapist suggested that I learn about “anti-social personality disorder” to help me be more safe in the future.  She showed me a list of the characteristics.

For some reason I was shocked to know there were actually a “type” of people like that in the world.  I wondered about Adam.

I mean, Adam spoke constantly about the scriptures, about helping the poor and needy, about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.  I truly believed that he owned nothing but his carpenter tools and that his life was patterned after Jesus Christ, the center of my life.  I could have never, not ever, fathom that a man so engaged in actively presenting a show of doing good, could actually, simultaneously, and completely – be cold-hearted and evil.  Or that his appearance of being normal and righteous was just an act.

gold-plates1The primary reason he was able to lead me like a lamb to the slaughter, was plain and simple:

I believed that his “Sealed Portion of the Book of Mormon” (aka “historical documents”) to be authentic. What the public does not realize is that in the minds of LDS (Mormons) whoever finds and translates the Sealed Portion of the Book of Mormon will be considered a prophet. This was not unique to me. MORE INFO ON THAT HERE. What the average person also doesn’t realize, and “Prophet or Predator” does not make clear, is the deeply-ingrained Mormon tenet that the prophet speaks for God, what the living prophet says take precedence over scripture, that God will not allow a prophet to lead you astray, or the belief that you must follow and obey the prophet – a prophet is authorized to get revelation for you and has your eternal life in his hands.

I am not the first person or the last person to fall for Adam’s forgery. In fact, to this day Adam has a following of unsuspecting people who believe the very same tale that gave him such power over me, and authorities do nothing about it.  It is for this reason I shared my story publicly.

A decade zipped by, I continued to blame myself, so I put the whole experience in the freezer and read a lot of brain books as I tried to rebuild an incredible life with my children.  Only recently, as in the past several months, have I come to realize what my first therapist was trying to tell me. What happened was more than just a malfunction on the part of my brain. In my opinion, Adam Nobody was a narcissistic cult leader skilled in psychological abuse, and a con-man who preyed on the beliefs of innocent, unsuspecting Mormon women to feed his sexual needs and finance his lifestyle. And he may have been worse.

Now I’m not saying that Adam is a sociopath or psychopath, and even if I believed it, it would only be my opinion.

But I will say that all women should study the traits of sociopaths/psychopaths just so they will never be as naive as I was.

Special Research Project of the Quantum Future School

“Imagine – if you can – not having a conscience, none at all, no feelings of guilt or remorse no matter what you do, no limiting sense of concern for the well-being of strangers, friends, or even family members. Imagine no struggles with shame, not a single one in your whole life, no matter what kind of selfish, lazy, harmful, or immoral action you had taken

And pretend that the concept of responsibility is unknown to you, except as a burden others seem to accept without question, like gullible fools.

Now add to this strange fantasy the ability to conceal from other people that your psychological makeup is radically different from theirs. Since everyone simply assumes that conscience is universal among human beings, hiding the fact that you are conscience-free is nearly effortless.

You are not held back from any of your desires by guilt or shame, and you are never confronted by others for your cold-bloodedness. The ice water in your veins is so bizarre, so completely outside of their personal experience, that they seldom even guess at your condition.

In other words, you are completely free of internal restraints, and your unhampered liberty to do just as you please, with no pangs of conscience, is conveniently invisible to the world.

You can do anything at all, and still your strange advantage over the majority of people, who are kept in line by their consciences will most likely remain undiscovered.”


Think about this:

  • The prevalence rate for anorexic eating disorders is estimated a 3.43 percent, deemed to be nearly epidemic.
  • The high-profile disorders classed as schizophrenia occur in only about 1 percent of [the population] – a mere quarter of the rate of antisocial personality.
  • The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention say that the rate of colon cancer in the United States, considered “alarmingly high,” is about 40 per 100,000 – 100 times lower than the rate of antisocial personality.

Nearly 4% of the population considered psychopaths, and as a society, we do not talk about this, we don’t filter people for this and we certainly do not prepare our daughters for this.

The kind, gentle, sweet, nurturing, forgiving Mormon and Christian women who have a Ph.D in prayer, unconditional love and seeing the best in people. People like me see a wolf in sheep’s clothing think it’s a real sheep who needs to come in from the cold and have some warm milk and cookies.


It’s really hard to see red flags when you’re always wearing rose-colored glasses.

Thank goodness my therapist, Marji, lent me “The Gift of Fear,” by Gavin de Becker.  That book changed my life, I swear.  It taught me how to recognize red flags and think protectively. Finally, I had a formula, a check list, by which to rationally judge people instead of assuming they think like I do.

I shared these things with my daughter. Poor girl.  When other mothers were having their daughters read books like The American Girl and Harry Potter, my daughter was reading The American Girl and Harry Potter, along with The Gift of Fear, Combatting Cult Mind Control, and I even saw the DSM-IV Handbook on her nightstand, and that she got on her ownI felt sad for a minute. Guilty. What had I done to the innocence of my little girl who slept in the pink canopy princess bed? My experiences and discussions and PTSD and constant worries for her safety obviously shattered her fairytale worldview since our life on the farm.

But she’s always been wiser than I ever was.  Just like her brothers. And I’m glad.

Because there are psychopaths all around us, and unlike me, my kids can see one coming a mile away.

The high incidence of sociopathy in human society has a profound effect on the rest of us who must live on this planet, too, even those of us who have not been clinically traumatized. The individuals who constitute this 4 percent drain our relationships, our bank accounts, our accomplishments, our self-esteem, our very peace on earth.

Yet surprisingly, many people know nothing about this disorder.

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“Likeable,” “Charming,” “Intelligent,” “Alert,” “Impressive,” “Confidence-inspiring,” and “A great success with the ladies”: These are the sorts of descriptions repeatedly used by Cleckley in his famous case-studies of psychopaths.

Humans Without a Soul?

“He does bizarre and self-destructive things because consequences that would fill the ordinary man with shame, self-loathing, and embarrassment simply do not affect the psychopath at all. What to others would be a disaster is to him merely a fleeting inconvenience.

Some researchers have begun to seriously consider the idea that it is important to study psychopathy not as an artificial clinical category but as a general personality trait in the community at large.

In other words, psychopathy is being recognized as a more or less a different type of human.

One very interesting aspect of the psychopath is his “hidden life” that is sometimes not too well hidden. It seems that the psychopath has a regular need to take a ‘vacation into filth and degradation’ the same way normal people may take a vacation to a resort where they enjoy beautiful surroundings and culture.

To get a full feeling for this strange ‘need’ of the psychopath – a need that seems to be evidence that “acting human” is very stressful to the psychopath.

Also, read Cleckley’s speculations on what was ‘really wrong’ with these people. He comes very close to suggesting that they are human in every respect – but that they lack a soul.

This lack of “soul quality” makes them very efficient “machines.”

They can be brilliant, write scholarly works, imitate the words of emotion, but over time, it becomes clear that their words do not match their actions. They are the type of person who can claim that they are devastated by grief who then attend a party.

CHARISMATIC PSYCHOPATHS are charming, attractive liars. They are usually gifted at some talent or another, and they use it to their advantage in manipulating others.

They are usually fast-talkers, and possess an almost demonic ability to persuade others out of everything they own, even their lives.

Leaders of religious sects or cults, for example, might be psychopaths if they lead their followers to their deaths. This subtype often comes to believe in their own fictions. They are irresistible.

He is generally superficially charming and often makes a striking impression as possessed of the noblest of human qualities.

He makes friends easily, and is very manipulative, using his ability with words to talk his way out of trouble. Many psychopaths love to be admired and bask in the adulation of others.

The psychopath is a manipulator, who knows exactly what makes us tick and knows how to manipulate and influence our feelings.

They have the talent to spot ‘kind, caring’ women.

Mimicry is often used to convince others that the psychopath is a normal human being. He does this to create a false empathy with his victim. The psychopath will try to make you believe he has normal emotions by spinning some sad tale or professing profound, moving experiences; the truth is, most psychopaths go through life as in an incubator, touched by few and having no real compassion for others; but they will lie to convince you that they have normal emotions.”

They Present the Person They Think You Want

“Most psychopaths are very arrogant and cocky. However, when charming  a potential victim, they say all the “right” things and make you  believe they are kind-hearted souls; not always, but often enough.  The truth is, psychopaths are not altruistic and do not really care  about friendships or ties.  Some are also able to feign concern about the lower classes and profess that they are on the side of the underdog, the  poor, and so forth. A psychopath may claim, for instance (if he’s  from a low socio-economic class), that he dislikes rich people  intensely, but at the same time, he will inwardly yearn and envy what  they have.

Our world seems to have been invaded by individuals whose approach to life and love is so drastically different from what has been the established norm for a very long time that we are ill- prepared to deal with their tactics. As he demonstrates, this philosophy of the “plausible lie” has overtaken the legal and administrative domains of our world, turning them into machines in which human beings with real emotions are destroyed.”

In short, the psychopath is a predator.

“If we think about the interactions of predators with their prey in the animal kingdom, we can come to some idea of what is behind the “mask of sanity” of the psychopath. Just as an animal predator will adopt all kinds of stealthy functions in order to stalk their prey, cut them out of the herd, get close to them and reduce their resistance, so does the psychopath construct all kinds of elaborate camoflage composed of words and appearances – lies and manipulations – in order to “assimilate” their prey.”

What does the psychopath REALLY get from their victims?

“This leads us to an important question: what does the psychopath REALLY get from their victims? It’s easy to see what they are after when they lie and manipulate for money or material goods or power. But in many instances, such as love relationships or faked friendships, it is not so easy to see what the psychopath is after. Without wandering too far afield into spiritual speculations , we can only say that it seems to be that the psychopath ENJOYS making others suffer. Just as normal humans enjoy seeing other people happy, or doing things that make other people smile, the psychopath enjoys the exact opposite.”

The psychopath ENJOYS making others suffer

“Conscience seems to depend on the ability to imagine consequences. But the fact seems to be that they act based solely on a sort of Game Theory evaluation of a situation: what will they get out of it, and what will it cost? And these “costs” have nothing to do with being humiliated, causing pain, sabotaging the future, or any of the other possibilities that normal people consider when making a choice. In short, it is almost impossible for normal people to even imagine the inner life of the psychopath.”

Psychopaths are good imposters

“At the same time, psychopaths are good imposters. They have absolutely no hesitation about forging and brazenly using impressive credentials to adopt professional roles that bring prestige and power. They pick professions in which the requisite skills are easy to fake, the jargon is easy to learn, and the credentials are unlikely to be thoroughly checked. Psychopaths find it extremely easy to pose as financial consultants, ministers, psychological counselors and psychologists. And that’s a scary thought.

Psychopaths make their way by conning people into doing things for them; obtaining money for them, prestige, power, or even standing up for them when others try to expose them. But that is their claim to fame. That’s what they do. And they do it very well. What’s more, the job is very easy because most people are gullible with an unshakable belief in the inherent goodness of man.

Most people are gullible with an unshakable belief in the inherent goodness of man.

The victims keep asking: “How could I have been so stupid? How could I have fallen for that incredible line of baloney?” And, of course, if they don’t ask it of themselves, you can be sure that their friends and associates will ask “How on earth could you have been taken in to that extent?”

The usual answer: “You had to be there” simply does not convey the whole thing. Hare writes:

What makes psychopaths different from all others is the remarkable ease with which they lie, the pervasiveness of their deception, and the callousness with which they carry it out.

…And this is why they are so good at using Game Theory. And unless we learn the rules of how they think, they will continue to use it on us with devastating results. Normal people HURT when treated cruelly and insensitively. Psychopaths only feign being hurt because they perceive hurt as not getting what they wanted, and tried to get by manipulation!

And unless we learn the rules of how they think, they will continue to use it on us with devastating results.

In the book Violent Attachments, women and men have noted the particular stare of the psychopath – it is an intense, relentless gaze that seems to preclude his destruction of his victim or target. Women, in particular, have reported this stare, which is related to the ‘predatorial’ (reptilian) gaze; it is as if the psychopath is directing all of his intensity toward you through his eyes, a sensation that one woman reported as a feeling of ‘being eaten.’  ”

Psychopaths Are Slippery

“Psychopaths are notorious for not answering the questions asked them. They will answer something else, or in such a way that the direct question is never addressed.

But this raises, again, the question: how come smart people get taken in by them?”

Why do we fail to pick up the inconsistencies? How do we fall for their stories?

“Part of the answer is that the oddities are subtle so that our general listening mode will not normally pick them up. But my own experience is that some of the “skipped” or oddly arranged words, or misused words are automatically reinterpreted by OUR brains in the same way we automatically “fill in the blank” space on a neon sign when one of the letters has gone out. We can be driving down the road at night, and ahead we see M_tel, and we mentally put the “o” in place and read “Motel.” Something like this happens between the psychopath and the victim.

We fill in the “missing humanness” by filling in the blanks with our own assumptions

We fill in the “missing humanness” by filling in the blanks with our own assumptions, based on what WE think and feel and mean. And, in this way, because there are these “blank” spots, we fill them in with what is inside us, and thus we are easily convinced that the psychopath is a great guy – because he is just like us!

We have been conditioned to operate on trust, and we always try to give the “benefit of the doubt.” So, there are blanks, we “give the benefit of the doubt,” and we are thereby hoisted on our own petard.

Psychopaths view any social exchange as a “feeding opportunity,” a contest or a test of wills in which there can be only one winner.

And in many, many cases, the victim simply refuses to believe the evidence that they are being victimized. Psychological denial screens out knowledge that is painful, and persons with large investments in their fantasies are often unable to acknowledge that they are being deceived because it it too painful.

Psychopaths feed off preying on people

Psychopaths view any social exchange as a “feeding opportunity,” a contest or a test of wills in which there can be only one winner. Their motives are to manipulate and take, ruthlessly and without remorse. [Hare]

The callous use of the old, the lonely, the vulnerable, the disenfranchised, the marginalized, is a trademark of the psychopath. And when any of them wake up to what is happening, they are generally too embarrassed to complain.

One of the chief ways psychopaths prey on others is to make use of the normal person’s need to find meaning or purpose in life.

They will pose as grief counselors, or “experts” of various sorts that attract followings of people who are looking for answers. They are masters of recognizing “hang-ups” and self-doubts that most people have, and they will brazenly pander to them to gain a follower to use later.”

Psychopaths brag about deceiving and exploiting people. Victims are their trophies!

“Psychopaths, if they know that they won’t be penalized for what they express, are very happy to boast about their prowess in deceiving others. The man, assessed above by his prison psychiatrist as having made such remarkable improvement, was described by Hare’s staffer as “the most terrifying offender she had ever met and that he openly boasted about how he had conned the prison staff into thinking that he was well on the road to rehabilitation. “I can’t believe those guys,” he said.

Not only do they covet possessions and power, but they gain special pleasure in usurping and taking from others (a symbolic sibling, for example);”

What they can plagiarize, swindle, and extort are fruits far sweeter than those they can earn through honest labor.

“And once having drained what they can from one source, they turn to another to exploit, bleed, and then cast aside;

Their pleasure in the misfortune of others is unquenchable.

People are used as a means to an end; they are to be subordinated and demeaned so that the antisocial can vindicate themselves…”



This inspires me

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Blog

"I took my pen to write and at first I was afraid: what to write? about what? But this was a project to write about everything, and I took the pen; I didn’t write from outside of my heart, I began to write about whatever was in my heart… The writing project gave me a voice, the project gave me courage to appear as a woman, to tell about my life, to share my pains and experiences. I wonder how big the change in my destiny is because of your work and this project. Who would trust an online class, a writing project, to change a destiny and a faith? Afghan Women's Writing Project gave me the power to feel I am not only a woman; it gave me a title, an Afghan woman “writer.” … I took the pen and I wrote and everything changed. I learned if I stand, everyone will stand, other women in my country will stand."  - Roya, an Afghan Woman Writer