Educating to help people stay safe & recover from sociopaths & psychopaths

Traumatic Bonding

Posted 2 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Blog

Why do people stay in a relationship with those who hurt them?  One thing is for sure – it is NOT because they are stupid. They have trauma bonding – and this is NOT their fault.

Trauma bonding describes the attachment dilemma that occurs from the type of trauma caused to our emotions (i.e. betrayal and neglect, over and over and over). It’s the type of bonding that can easily occur via passive-aggressive manipulation (i.e. sex, lies, silent treatments) and other forms of narcissistic control.The narcissist partner, as cunning as he or she is, understands the process for streamlining a victim’s codependency to point of least resistance. He has actually figured out – without a single day of formal training – that the best way to ensure narcissistic supply is to create trauma bonds with his targets via the method of “seduce and discard”.   From http://www.thenarcissisticpersonality.com/trauma-bonding/

 

ducks

“Some scientists were conducting an experiment,” he said, “trying to gauge the impact of abuse on children. Ducks, like people, develop bonds between mother and young. They call it imprinting. So the scientists set out to test how that imprint bond would be affected by abuse.

“The control group was a real mother duck and her ducklings. For the experimental group, the scientist used a mechanical duck they had created – feathers, sound, and all – which would, at timed intervals, peck the ducklings with its mechanical beak. A painful peck, one a real duck would not give.
They varied these groups. Each group was pecked with a different level of frequency. And then they watched the ducklings grow and imprint bond with their mother.

“Over time,” he went on, “the ducklings in the control group would waddle along behind their mother. But as they grew, there would be more distance between them. They’d wander and explore.
“The ducklings with the pecking mechanical mother, though, followed much more closely. Even the scientists were stunned to discover that the group that bonded and followed most closely was the one that had been pecked repeatedly with the greatest frequency. The more the ducklings were pecked and abused, the more closely they followed. The scientist repeated the experiment and got the same results.”

From: http://eaandfaith.blogspot.com/2011/05/traumatic-bonding-how-does-it-work.html

 

Check Out Self Help Podcasts at Blog Talk Radio with Kenneth Anderson on BlogTalkRadio

Attachment Theory & Trauma Bonding part starts at 20:20 – but the whole podcast is great.

Must Read: “Confessions of a Sociopath”

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Blog & Tagged as: , , , ,
byu-law-school

More than one friend sent me this article from the May 13, 2013 issue of Psychology Today. It may be shocking to many, but to those of us whose lives were once shattered by sociopaths, it’s all too familiar.

The article was written by “M.E. Thomas” who claims to be a BYU-educated (and successful) law professor and Sunday school teacher who is “quite charming and has a host of family and friends.” I wonder about that.  At least she admits how much she lies. In the beginning of the article, she claims she wasn’t the victim of child abuse, but later in the article describes being the middle child in a family with a violent father.  Read More

Psychopaths Destroy Reputations & Psychologically Torture

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Blog & Tagged as: , ,

"All the harm we have mentioned thus far is from covert abuse. Psychopathic individuals also may openly psychologically abuse their victims by denigrating and terrorizing them."

"For now, we simply note that emotional abuse can be extremely harmful to victims. Sadly, some victims attempt suicide as a result of hopelessness, helplessness and the belief there is no way out. Some victims have reported to us that

psychopaths have actually encouraged them to take their own lives

or have indicated that they would put them through so much turmoil that their only recourse would be suicide."

"Individuals with psychopathic traits may attempt to ruin the lives of their victims through the use of social aggression.  For example, it is common for psychopathic individuals to lie about their victims or portray them unfavorably in gossip, so as to damage their reputations."

From http://aftermath-surviving-psychopathy.org/index.php/2011/02/24/the-aftermath-of-psychopathy-as-experienced-by-romantic-partners-family-members-and-other-victims/

Affinity fraud: do psychopaths target specific groups of people?

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Blog & Tagged as: , , ,

Written by Linda on 19 December 2011

"Individuals with psychopathic traits are often attracted to affinity groups – religious, political or social groups of people who share common values, beliefs or interests.  The collective trust that members of these groups have in one another and their common belief system provides a perfect cover for the person with psychopathy.  The psychopath has an ability to accurately mimic the group’s beliefs or values while in the presence of its members.  As a result, trust is easily gained and the true motives of the psychopath are less likely to be discovered.

Their true motives may include, but are not limited to, financial support (including investment fraud), establishing personal credibility, access to vulnerable individuals who can meet their sexual needs, power and control in volunteer or paid leadership roles, or whatever may meet their needs at the present time.  Those who are most adept at perpetrating affinity fraud are psychopaths who gain entry into the group by developing an acquaintance with a member who then introduces the psychopath as “one of us.”  The result is a “fox in the henhouse.”

From http://aftermath-surviving-psychopathy.org/index.php/2011/12/19/affinity-fraud-do-psychopaths-target-specific-groups-of-people/

This inspires me

Posted 4 years ago by Admin. Posted in: Blog

"I took my pen to write and at first I was afraid: what to write? about what? But this was a project to write about everything, and I took the pen; I didn’t write from outside of my heart, I began to write about whatever was in my heart… The writing project gave me a voice, the project gave me courage to appear as a woman, to tell about my life, to share my pains and experiences. I wonder how big the change in my destiny is because of your work and this project. Who would trust an online class, a writing project, to change a destiny and a faith? Afghan Women's Writing Project gave me the power to feel I am not only a woman; it gave me a title, an Afghan woman “writer.” … I took the pen and I wrote and everything changed. I learned if I stand, everyone will stand, other women in my country will stand."  - Roya, an Afghan Woman Writer